When we say friends with benefits, what usually and primarily comes to mind is friends who fuck each other. Maybe the term 'friends with benefits' were invented for these fucking friends, but for me, the phrase is also appropriate for friends who use each other for personal gains.
It's actually better if it's a two-way street. Ginamit ka at ginamit mo s'ya. It's fair and it's all good. But the thing is, the world isn't always fair. Sometimes, you get used and you can't do anything but cry. People are different, anyway. She's heartless and you're not. You consider her as a friend and she considers you as a commodity. She'd use and abuse you and after she's got her fill, she's gone.
I have a former friend who've accused me of being manggagamit--among other nasty things, mind you. It was really funny because she told another friend of mine a few years ago to stay away from me dahil manggagamit daw ako. What made it more funny was the fact that I had no idea that she hated me so much then because I thought that she was really nice to me. She offered me her home when I was homeless (I ran away from home back in college), she gave me things, money and everything I needed when I was at a very low point in my life. I was honestly grateful that she did those things for me, together with my other friend. I loved her and considered her as my friend--until I heard what she said behind my back.
So, when I found out what she really felt about me, naloka talaga ako. I mean, akala ko talaga mabait s'ya at kaibigan din ang turing n'ya sa 'kin. I'm not going to lie, I'm not the perfect friend I have to admit. I hate some of her 'ugali' but deep in my heart I considered her a true friend. I cared for her and I thought she cared for me, too. 'Yun pala, gano'n pala ako sa paningin nya. She even called me trash, for jeez' sake.
I recalled our 'friendship' and it really hurt me to realize that everything she showed me was fake. Had I known na masama pala sa loob n'ya mga binigay nya, I wouldn't have accepted them. Kung alam ko lang na ayaw n'ya sa 'kin noon, eh di hindi na sana ko nagsasama sa kanya at sinamahan s'ya tuwing iiyakan nya yung mga gago n'yang exes at sinugod ang legit girlfriend ng boyfriend nya na pinili ng boyfriend nya kesa sa kanya.
Hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin alam kung paano nya nasabi na manggagamit ako. Was it because I never gave her material things? As far as I know I was there whenever she needed me. I thought that that was what friendship was all about. I thought that friendship was based on 'samahan' and not on material things. If I had known that she needed 'things' to validate our friendship, I shouldn't have considered her as a friend in the first place because I don't believe in that. Was my kind of friendship not enough?
Anyway, I went on with my life after that episode and stayed away from her. Incidentally, our other friend was also mad at me (different story) during that time so they became best friends while I was gone. I never confronted her about it and there was no doubt in my mind that she really said those nasty things about me to my high school best friend because I trust my HS best friend and there was no reason why HS best friend would invent horrible things like that.
Fast forward to present, I'm friends again with our common friend and I was on speaking terms with this girl again. But the surprising thing is, that kind of episode happened again with her and our common friend. She said bad things about her too, at sa akin pa nya sinabi of all people, just because of some shallow reason that only she alone could justify as a legit reason for her to get mad at our other friend. This other friend is one of the nicest person I know and I honestly believe that she loved and cared for this "friend", definitely more than I think I did to her when I still trusted her and considered her as a true friend, and she definitely did not deserve the things this "friend" told me. It was painful to see how she treated my real friend so I had no choice but to finally tell her what this "friend" did to me a few years back.
Now, she's alone and she have some new set of friends. I'm really not sure if she finally found the real type of friends that she longs for. But from the looks of it, maybe she's happy now. She's getting things from them and I often read her ecstatic posts on FB about the things she's been getting from her new friends. I'm happy for her and I'm happy for myself too.
I didn't need to prove that I was not a manggagamit. She already did that for me and claimed that word when she ditched our common friend for people who gives her the things she loves, right?
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